It happened on a random Tuesday. I was talking to a fellow EFT therapist about my latest musing on my professional list serve.
Karen: Ben, I was writing a really long post, but I decided maybe I will setup a blog. Remember, I am technically impaired. 2 questions… 1. Can others type in a blog, and 2. Do you like any of these names? It will be all about Self of the Therapist.
Ben: You would be great at blogging. You're naturally outspoken and have great ideas and deserve to be heard!
So, here we go!!
My intention behind this blog is pretty basic – I would like a forum to present what happens in the "Self" of the therapist in the context of our work. I will be drawing from my experiences of becoming a therapist the past 16+ years (plus the years of life before that!), as well as those experiences of therapists I have had the pleasure of knowing through my career, as a peer and consultant/supervisor.
In my next blog, I will present the foundations and a working definition of Self of the Therapist, but first…
Let’s first consider what this is like for me…because you know what? Oh. My. Gosh. This is triggering me! And what is coming up for me is pretty simple … will anybody really care what I, Karen, have to say? Will anyone like me? Why am I putting myself out there for yet another rejection in my life?
All very good and logical questions, if you know my history. I am 4th of 5 children born into an Irish household. In that era, children were seen and not heard. And for me personally, I was a little girl with a soft demeanor, and a smile in my heart and on my face almost always. I did not speak until I was 2 years old (mom thought there was a problem and had me tested - negative test results. I have heard this story many times), and then when I began talking, I never shut up (I have heard THIS story many times, too). So, guess what happened? I reasoned in my head that no one wanted to hear me, and being quiet was safer. And so, I began to keep words to myself. And I grew to feel safer with those words I kept inside and ones I wrote in stories and poems, but not ones I said out loud.
And then, of course, I was called shy, because the before-mentioned experience, being quiet, was seen as a problem. Oh, I just could not win!
So, for me to step out and do a blog is actually quite a risk. But I have learned a few things about myself taking risks. First, the more I take risks, the better I get at it. With each risk, I access more of my inner resilience. With each risk, I gain more courage. As humans, risking is an important part of our growth and development.
Next, I have recently learned something important about myself. I seem to actually like taking risks ~ like jumping off 40 foot cliffs on Beaver Lake in Arkansas! I just insure there is some measure of calculated safety to them! I am not a careless risk taker. I have clear intentions when I take risks . [See a story of this great fun risk my colleague Megan and I took in summer of 2014 with our friends in AR on my other website, www.transitionsandnewbeginnings.com.]
Finally, as I have been risking, people have now begun to say … “Thank you for your willingness to share yourself, Karen. You are saying what I have always felt, but was afraid to say."
This has helped my confidence grow. As I gain more confidence, I then show more of my self. As I show more of me, people respond, and I grow even more confident, and I take more risks. It is a positive cycle of interdependence. It becomes exponential!
Ok, so now that I tended to my fear, I wonder … maybe this isn’t the only goal here, people responding to my risk taking.
Maybe a goal is being the voice for so many of us who have not been able to express ourselves.
Maybe it really doesn't matter about the responses I will or will not get.
Maybe it just matters that I jumped!
The Journey is the Reward ~ Taoist Saying
And so, here we go, and time will tell, or not. I will say a prayer that even if just one person reads and is inspired by my writing, helping him/her then find his/her own voice ~ THAT would be truly gratifying and will make all this angst more than worthwhile!
We learn and grow very organically, gleaning information from many places. The framework I will present is a composite of many people, places and experiences, including how I have internalized and made it my own… my own Journey into My Self as a Therapist(c).
In my next blog, I will present information about self of the therapist foundation and concepts, as well as useful resources on the subject.
For information about a 2 day workshop in New York City on October 8 & 9, 2015 called A Journey into Your Self as a Therapist(c), go to www.transitionsandnewbeginnings.com, or send me an inquiry.
Hi and welcome to my blog! I am excited to have this endeavor underway. It has been many years in the making.